Welcome to a Hater’s Guide to NYCFC*
This is a special “petty” edition of the Guide in which “petty” means that we’ve eschewed the normal structure of the guide and went from attempts at clever observations to potshots that are rarely based in actual fact. Why? It may be because Sam is intoxicated and feels like being extremely petty because he keeps running into his ex’s in unexpected places and instead of holding a dialogue and working through repressed anxieties/fears/regrets/objective deconstructions of his own limitations as a romantic partner and lover, he’s decided to project them onto the fans and members of a soccer team which he has never met and onto anyone else who happens to be in the crossfire like you, you sad human wasting their life reading a soccer blog as a distraction from the fact you never lived up to your parents expectations sorry, sorry, sorry I didn’t mean that, I’m projecting again, I apologize, let’s focus here, stop distracting me.